Stanley Black & Decker SOLD! New Owners Change Specs to Inch-Pounds

In a surprise move today, Pro Tool Reviews revealed that its cash offer to purchase Stanley Black & Decker received approval from the SEC. The move allows the companies to move forward with the acquisition and migrate all companies underneath the Pro Tool Reviews umbrella. The deal includes all SBD brands, including DeWalt, Stanley, Craftsman, Bostitch, Mac Tools, Proto, Irwin, Lenox, and Vidmar. Clint DeBoer, President of Pro Tool Reviews flew the company’s Gulfstream 5 jet to meet at SBD’s Connecticut headquarters. There they signed the papers and brought both teams together.

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“Our first move will be to convert all Unit Watts Out (UWO) specs to Inch-Pounds. Consumers in the USA finally get the chance to compare these tools to other brands. Next, we’ll relocate all employees and manufacturing to Lakeland Florida. Finally, we’ll recolor all tools to black and yellow since… let’s face it…it’s just cool.”

– Kenny Koehler, Managing Editor & Partner, Pro Tool Reviews

Lakeland mayor, Bill Mutz, was speechless, but excited. The prospect of having a multi-billion dollar corporation relocate to his city presents a unique opportunity. The move will open up tens of thousands of jobs, paving the way for new infrastructure projects and homebuilding.

In order to facilitate the move, the Pro Tool Reviews team of contractors offered to help move Publix out of its current headquarters in order to make room for the new multi-national, multi-brand corporation. The building will also be repainted in yellow-and-black, further solidifying the company’s brand-centric approach.

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Publix declined to make an official statement on the matter.

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